Glad we're on the same page. But have you ever stopped to wonder why masturbation feels so good? I mean, orgasms, duh. But there is more to it than that, right? To help answer that question, I reached out to Dr. The first thing Dr. Jess explained is why masturbation feels so good, literally. OK, now stay with me here, things are going to get a bit science-y.
Yes, that's the technical term, ahem. Jess explains that in your brain during orgasm, "the nucleus accumbens and ventral tegmental areas [aka, the parts of your brain that process reward to pleasure] are activated, and the center of reasoning and behavior shuts down entirely during the heights of pleasure. But that's another article. Jess tells Elite Daily. Got all that? OK, so, in other words, all the nerves from your groin and abdomen are firing messages of pleasure, and your brain responds by lighting up all its pleasure centers.
Your body basically becomes the Vegas strip of amazing sensations. So yeah, masturbation rules. Jess explains, it makes you feel good in all kinds of unexpected ways. If you want to make your partner's sexual journey better, Dr. Jess suggests heading out on plenty of solo missions in order to chart some unexplored orgasmic territory. And all that homework really pays off. That's because by experimenting you've learned what feels best for you, and you are able to, "better direct [your] lover during partnered sex. If you feel like your libido is dropping, Dr.
Jess prescribes some quality alone time. She also says that self-pleasure increases your likelihood of orgasm, which is great for self esteem, which in turn is good for your libido. But it's also a great brain chemistry hack. Who knew the silver bullet for lower libido is actually, ya know, a silver bullet?
All too often, the messages we receive about our bodies are negative, but Dr. Jess says masturbation is a great way to reinforce just how incredible our bodies really are, and how deserving of self-love we are. Want to make your orgasms stronger and better? This is partly because a woman's fluctuating hormones tend to mean that her desire for sex is not as constant as a man's.
Another reason for masturbation being less important to women than men is that a man's sexual apparatus is all outside his body and he's focused on the pleasure his penis provides him from a very young age. Women's sex organs are less obvious. For example, the clitoris — which is the main organ of pleasure in most women — is hidden away under the labia.
Also, though this is less the case now than it used to be, girls have traditionally been brought up to be more modest and secretive about their bodies. Mmasturbation should not be regarded as immature or shameful.
It's something that most normally-sexed women do. So, masturbation should not be regarded, as it once was, as immature or shameful. They may reserve it for when they feel in need of a treat, or they may do it very regularly — even when they're in a relationship. If you don't know exactly what it is you like or what it takes for you to reach orgasm, it's a good idea to practise on your own.
For some people the very idea of stimulating themselves can seem worrying, or unappealing, or something to be ashamed of. It's a good idea if women can rid themselves of these feelings. Masturbation is a great way to lessen tension in your body. It's a very safe way to have an orgasm. And it's probably the best way to learn about how your body likes to be loved.
But masturbation, like most things, takes practice. And the only way to learn about your own sexual response is to try it. If you're a first-timer and have no idea where to start, or have masturbated before and just want to improve your technique, try investing in a masturbation guide book yes, they exist! Books such as Carlyle Jansen's Sex Yourself: The Woman's Guide to Mastering Masturbation will give you an in-depth knowledge of the history, tricks and tips of solo play.
In order to masturbate in such a way that will maximise pleasure and satisfaction, you might need to plan how and when to do it, rather than leave it to chance. For a start, you need to ensure that you're going to have adequate time to yourself and that you won't be interrupted.
Then try the following tips:. Begin by taking a shower, or a long, scented bubble bath. We suggest investing in some luxurious bath foam or shower gel, such as the Neom organics luxury bath foam or even a specialised product such as Femfresh. Soap your body all over and enjoy touching your breasts and your genitals in particular.
Dry yourself carefully, then rub your favourite lotion all over your body. Keep touching your body everywhere — it might be a good idea to stand in front of a mirror while you do it, so that you can get into the habit of looking at it and getting used to the sight and feel of it. At this point, as long as you know that you're in no danger of being disturbed, move to your bedroom. Make sure that it is warm and comfortable.
All the puzzling things that happen to your body when you masturbate, explained by science
Put on some relaxing music if you like. And just enjoy yourself. Lie down on your bed and use a mirror to look at your private and intimate places. Gently spread your labia: you may want to use a spot of lubrication There are very nice modern ones that increase the sensuousness of the occasion — such as Liquid Silk. But if you don't have any lubrication, use saliva. Try to tighten and relax the muscles at the base of the pelvis.
I Can’t Get Out of Bed Without Masturbating - VICE
If you find it difficult to know whether you're doing this successfully, try inserting a couple of fingers inside your vagina. That way, you'll be able to feel whether you're tightening and relaxing the muscles or not. Many women much prefer masturbation if they can feel some bulk in the vagina at the same time as they stimulate the clitoris — so touching yourself internally might feel very good indeed. If you now tighten and relax the muscles in rapid succession you will feel contractions of the kind that many women experience when having an orgasm.
You might also notice a warm sensation in your abdomen. Try touching yourself all over your body, including the breasts and your genitals where you will quickly find the most sensitive spots. In particular, experiment near the opening of the vagina and clitoris and stimulate yourself in whatever way feels best. So long as you do not rush, and you are keeping relaxed, then your own fingers will automatically do the right thing and will move with the right amount of speed and intensity for you.
Try to familiarise yourself with exactly how touching yourself makes you feel. Ignore everything around you.
Just think about what is going on inside you, or fantasise about making love with someone you care for, or with a celebrity, or in some gorgeous and romantic place. While you touch yourself, you might like to look at something that turns you on — pictures, perhaps, a film; even a sexy book. Interestingly, men and women differ somewhat in what they find arousing. Most men like graphic pictures of sexy women or of people having sex. Women are frequently much more turned on by words — so an erotic novel can often increase a woman's pleasure.
If, as is likely, your sexual tension rises, keep going.
If you have never previously masturbated to orgasm, you might suddenly feel tired and want to stop. Or you may be nervous about the build up of excitement in your body. Don't worry about this. Just take your time. And if you don't want to go on right now, then that's fine.